I want to be her.
At 8:05 pm last night, Vicente went to be with Jesus. it was a struggle... a week long struggle as his body prepared to breath its last.... months of fighting kidney disease. Over. The pain is gone. The ache is over. He is free now and more alive than he has ever been.
We prayed for healing and for miracles. But I am learning that sometimes the miracle looks different than my human eyes can understand. Today... the miracle was that my Kuya had a good 2 months with his family, lived longer than expected, and died surrounded by those who love him. What was God teaching us out of this? At this moment, I really don't know.
I don't feel anything, except sorrow for her. Dolly, his wife of 20 years, the mother of his 5 children. If I ever have the blessing of being a wife to someone, I want to be like her. From the day he arrived at our doorstep, she was right by his side, and she never left. In this past week, she rarely left her position by his bed. Even when she was obviously exhausted. Even when he became more and more difficult. She never complained. She just served.
To have and to hold, for better or for worse, sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.
She is my example of vows lived and breathed with conviction, with love, with mercy, with grace, with tenderness. Vows taken seriously. She could have just given him to us to take care of, walked away, and left him to begin a new life. But she didn't. She stayed through every difficult moment, every struggle, every fight.
Last night, as he was laying in bed, struggling to breathe, I watched as she sat beside him, took his hand in her own, and held it close to her cheek. She watched him, memorizing every part of his face. Holding on as long as she could. Her eyes were swollen, but tears didn't fall. They would fall later. Right now, in that moment, she only had a heart and mind for him, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead. I hope that picture never leaves my mind or my heart.
Even this morning as we waited for the funeral home to collect his body, she would walk by and touch his hair, his face. She is a beautiful example of grace. You know those people who just have that kind of presence... you just want to be near them because their spirit quiets your own? In their presence, you can relax... that is my Dolly. Her gentleness serves. It invites others to rest. I just want to sit beside her and be close to her.
And as he died, he wanted her. Even in death, he only had eyes for her. She loved him until death, and, I can safely assume, will love him until she follows him home.
She has five children... Dave, Divine Grace, Diza, Dexter, and Dizon. She has to figure out life without him by her side. She has to figure out how to be two parents now. She is not alone... her heart belongs to the God who made her. But pray for her, remember her.
And may I love like that... with everything I have, asking nothing in return simply because I promised to. She chose love, and she honored her commitment until the end.
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