I feel like such an idiot sometimes.
I have seen it over and over again. His faithfulness, His goodness, His complete fulfillment of promises and dreams. I have seen, heard, and testified.
And yet, I still doubt.
Thank God his plans are not completely dependent upon the strength of my faith, or else, we wouldn't get anywhere.
"You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said." Luke 1:45
"God, who calls you is faithful; he will do this." 1 Thesselonians 5:24
I sat in church tonight, listening as my grandmother shared the story of God's faithfulness to a man in their congregation. Long story short, God had completely provided for this man to have extensive oral surgery and orthodontics. The cost of his medical care was well over fifty thousand dollars, and little by little, God met every need for this man.
Am I not this same God? He whispers gently. I, the one who provided, am the same one who has called you. I have set you apart. Stand aside and watch as I amaze you. I see you. I do not call you, only to abandon you.
It is so easy to be filled with doubt and fear. That's what the enemy loves to throw at me... fears and worries.
I had begun to notice in my life that since saying "Yes" to God about a few things that I felt so tired. I was tired emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I blamed my workload. I blamed my inability to make myself sleep at a decent hour. I blamed a lack of coffee. As tired as I was, I was also feeling very numb and apathetic to everything around me.
I lost my joy...
Realizing this, I sat down with the Lord and began to ask what was going on. He led me to Psalm 51:
I have seen it over and over again. His faithfulness, His goodness, His complete fulfillment of promises and dreams. I have seen, heard, and testified.
And yet, I still doubt.
Thank God his plans are not completely dependent upon the strength of my faith, or else, we wouldn't get anywhere.
"You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said." Luke 1:45
"God, who calls you is faithful; he will do this." 1 Thesselonians 5:24
I sat in church tonight, listening as my grandmother shared the story of God's faithfulness to a man in their congregation. Long story short, God had completely provided for this man to have extensive oral surgery and orthodontics. The cost of his medical care was well over fifty thousand dollars, and little by little, God met every need for this man.
Am I not this same God? He whispers gently. I, the one who provided, am the same one who has called you. I have set you apart. Stand aside and watch as I amaze you. I see you. I do not call you, only to abandon you.
It is so easy to be filled with doubt and fear. That's what the enemy loves to throw at me... fears and worries.
I had begun to notice in my life that since saying "Yes" to God about a few things that I felt so tired. I was tired emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I blamed my workload. I blamed my inability to make myself sleep at a decent hour. I blamed a lack of coffee. As tired as I was, I was also feeling very numb and apathetic to everything around me.
I lost my joy...
Realizing this, I sat down with the Lord and began to ask what was going on. He led me to Psalm 51:
Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean.
Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow...
Restore to me again the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
(Verses 6 and 12)
And so, I then began to confess sins, asking Him to bring to mind what was holding me back.
Fear. Worry. Lack of trust. Doubts.
I was taking my eyes off of my Jesus, and as a result, I began to sink. I have this problem with wanting the approval of others. I crave it. Yet, in seeking the approval of others, I have been missing out on the approval of the one who matters most.
No matter how good the intentions of the ones who give advice are, they are not God. They do not know the promises He has spoken to me. They only know what they can see from the surface, looking through the eyes of man, and not the eyes of God.
And so I wait, quieting the voices around me. Choosing to believe in a God who's patience with me is never ending. His faithfulness is proven, tested. And when I am tempted to doubt and fear, I reflect on His promises and I find peace.
I am still not perfect at this. I feel very much like Thomas: Lord, I want to believe. Help my unbelief.
Faith: the yearning for things hoped for, believing in what is not yet seen.
And in these moments of peace and rest, I have rediscovered my joy.
I am waiting expectantly for Him to step in as my faithful provider. I am waiting for him to step in and say, "Watch what I am going to do in this."
I know He will.I want to be blown away, and God, I give you complete permission to do so. And when He does, you will definately know.
Wow. I loved this post. Just what I needed to hear.
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